A Quiet Place
Every Man Needs One
I recently revisited one of my favorite movies: A Quiet Place(2018). Directed by John Krasinski, A Quiet Place tells the story of the Abbott family and their life in a world overrun by alien monsters that hunt anything that makes noise. And upon first viewing, that’s exactly what it is. But once your heart rate settles and the jump scares become a thing of the past, you start to realize something. And then you have to rewatch it to see if you’re right. You see, A Quiet Place isn’t just about living in a quiet place for the sake of survival. It’s far more layered than that. It’s about the quiet place of fatherhood, masculinity, motherhood, femininity, parenting, family, wisdom, discernment, grief, relief, and so much more. The depth of A Quiet Place is so jarring once you realize it, it’s hard to believe the movie itself is only 90 minutes long.
One of the deepest places it goes is into the male psyche, especially the part related to fatherhood. Especially the male psyche, as it relates to fatherhood, and a man’s need to retreat to a quiet place within his own home. And it communicates it so well, yet so subtly, I can understand how everyone misses it. I didn’t see it until the latest rewatch, and I was struck by how providential the timing was because I’d been working on a related topic to share with you all. And I wouldn’t have thought about this had I not realized how loud my life had become.
A few weeks ago, I crawled out of near severe burnout. Two breakdowns on two consecutive Saturdays will make you face the reality of a few things. And then the realization, at the same time, you’re under some pretty substantial spiritual oppression, further compounds the necessity for immediate change.
Last year was tough, to say the least. My son’s ordeal was the worst of it, by far, but it was also the tip of the iceberg. There had been a few things that happened in addition to that (some good, some bad, some bittersweet, and others stretching even further back into 2024) that all piled on. And it’s one of those things you don’t realize until there’s no other explanation but pretty severe burnout and substantial spiritual oppression. Coming out from under one of those things would’ve been tough enough. But all of it, everything leading up to it, and everything in addition to…
I don’t care who you are or how strong your faith is. You will crash, and crash hard. And I did.
By God’s grace, faithful hand of healing, and deliverance, I’m two weeks out of healing from the burnout, and about four weeks out of deliverance from the oppression. God laid out a remedy for the burnout, I followed it, and then I systematized it to share with y’all soon-ish. As for the oppression, a lot of prayer, discipline, and the presence of other godly men solved that problem. It’s amazing what happens when the demonic can’t hide anymore, and men of God rise up and pray that the Lord beats it with a stick.
The through-line that God showed me in all of this wasn’t as obvious until I revisited A Quiet Place and had a name for it. And to come out from under both burnout and spiritual oppression, it’s absolutely imperative. Men, especially, cannot survive the alien monsters in either context without it. And that through-line is this:
Every godly man needs a quiet place.
If you are suffering as a man, you need a quiet place. And I mean really quiet. Near dead silent, if possible. That’s an essential truth for the Christian man, even more so, and the Christian man who desires to be godly doesn’t even have a choice.
Plain and simple, if you are a man, you need a quiet place.
The question now is obvious: why do men especially need a quiet place?
The answer ought to be even more obvious, but let me break it down for you.
A man needs a quiet place because the world, ruled by the prince of the power of the air, tells them they don’t.
The world and its ruler lie to men and tell them:
They need to be connected.
They need to be sexed.
They need to listen to podcasts.
They need to have a home church AND a favorite online pastor/theologian/apologist.
They need to listen to their wives and kids more.
They need to listen to their boss more.
They need to listen to the news more, especially new media news.
They need to listen to all the music.
They need to be aware of everything, everywhere, all at once.
In other words, they need to live in a loud world, not thrive in a quiet place. And the crux of the lie is this: men need to live in a loud world so they don’t hear a still, small voice—one in particular.
God’s.
And once you see that, you can’t unsee it. Once you realize the very device in your hand is literally pinging over the sound of that voice, you know what you need to do.
Don’t throw the device away, of course. The device isn’t the problem. The noise you allow to control you through it is the problem. But it doesn’t have to be that device. It can be anything you use to escape into the noise instead of the quiet place God is beckoning you to. He’s whispering, saying, “Son, listen to the sound of my voice. Turn off the noise. You are weary and don’t even realize it. I can give you rest.” And I know most, if not all, of you men, deep inside, can hear the faint echo of the same whisper. Right before you go to sleep, right before it all goes to dreams, when everything is finally quiet, you hear it faintly.
I had to lean into that voice. It’s time you did too. And it starts with your own quiet place.
It can be a room to yourself, a basement like John Krasinski’s character had in A Quiet Place, a kitchen at 5 am while everyone else is asleep, or a corner in your living room. It can even be the crap closet at work or your car on your lunch break.
But every man needs this place—a place to study, write, fight, and rest.
Call it a…
Sanctuary
Ready Room
Fortress of Solitude
Library
Retreat
Altar
Haven
Man Cave
Training Facility
Sensory Deprivation Tank
Study
It doesn’t matter what it’s called. You just need one.
Men need a place separate from all of the noise of the world to spend time alone with their Father.
To study what their Father says.
To write down what the Father has laid on their heart.
To fight through the puddles of tears because of the responsibility God placed on their shoulders.
And to rest in their Father’s presence, fully relying on Him for whatever happens next.
Every man needs a place to get away so he can be better prepared, come what may.
Men, find your quiet place. Or make one. Either way, you need it. And your phone, video game console, or whatever won’t suffice. You don’t need an escape. You need quiet time alone with God.
Even Jesus retreated to a quiet place from time to time. And if He set the example, we don’t need a movie like A Quiet Place to show us the way. We need to follow our Savior. And we best do that in doing what He did, even unto death. Which, consequently, is somewhat of a spoiler for the movie A Quiet Place.
Be faithful,
Alan
You nailed it. I needed this. Thanks so much. And I’ve never seen the movie.